자부심의 진실

What is the hard truth about self-esteem?

 

Are you ready?

The cold, hard truth about self-esteem is that… it doesn’t exist.

It’s something you’ve imagined.

And not just you, but millions and millions of other people.

It’s based on the idea that “I should feel good about myself”.

But what is this idea based on?

Essentially, it boils down to “feeling good feels good so I want to feel it all the time”.

That’s it.

That’s the philosophy.

Here’s the problem with that:

When you think you should always feel good, feeling bad becomes a problem.

Whenever you feel bad, you feel like you are doing something wrong, that your life isn’t working out as it should.

All of these contribute to your imagined feeling of low self-esteem.

The truth is - and we can all verify this simply by examining our own lives - that life doesn’t always feel good.

It was never meant to.

Pain is an inevitable part of life.

You’re going to slip and fall, stub your toe, eat something that upsets your stomach, get rejected by someone you like, or simply wake up feeling blue.

There is nothing wrong with any of that.

When you realize that feeling bad is a 100% normal and natural part of life, feeling bad stops being a problem.

You can have your morning blues. You can try and fail. You can stub your toe. You can feel insecure about all sorts of things.

None of it is a problem.

The amazing thing about life is that when you stop turning a temporary bad feeling into a problem, that bad feeling can just be until it… is no longer there.

It just disappears.

You don't have to do anything about it.

The idea of self-esteem is based on your perceived ability to do things, solve problems, and deliver results.

The thing is, most problems that need solving are actually just temporary bad feelings.

They don’t need fixing.

They’re just natural feelings that need to be felt so that you don’t have to keep repressing them over and over and over and over again for the rest of your life.

And when you don’t have to fix them, you are free to be as you are - without constantly thinking about yourself and your problems.

From that place, self-esteem is no longer an idea that seems particularly relevant.

 

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